Where God Dwells

I love ritual (I guess the Holy Spirit knew that when we were pushed toward the Episcopal church). In a recent conversation with some Christian friends familiar with Jewish worship, they speak of being drawn to Judaism's rich traditions and rituals. Of feeling connected to God when lighting Sabbath candles, and their awe over the sacred beauty of the Passover meal. I feel strange during their exchange -like somehow I should relate to what they are saying more than I do. It occurs to me that, if these friends did not believe in Jesus, they could happily practice Judaism.

I fully appreciate the richness of Jewish practice. Yet, Jewish tradition was not enough for me. I recall many lit Sabbath candles for many Friday evenings, the apples and honey of Rosh Hashanah, the cleansing fast of Yom Kippur, and everything in between. But I never felt the electric presence of the Holy Spirit, or the certainty of God's proximity like I do in Christian practice. I wonder why this is so - but can only guess that my soul must be Christian.

My favorite parts of an Episcopal church service involve the moments that are extremely High Church (ritual filled). If our church offered a more Orthodox service, I would be there - kneeling, smelling incense, and bowing my head. Still, having a Jewish background does heighten my understanding of the church ritual I love so much.

I am currently serving one Sunday a month as an adult Acolyte, one who helps with the performance of ceremonial rites. It thrills me to be at the altar. Here, I can vividly see the reflection of God's tabernacle commands in Exodus. The High Altar and Aumbry and the white robes we and the priests don (The sacred vestments of Aaron shall be passed on to his sons after him; they shall be anointed in them and ordained in them Ex 29:29). The bowl where the priests wash their hands (You shall make a bronze basin with a bronze stand for washing. You shall put it between the tent of meeting and the altar, and you shall put water in it; with the water Aaron and his sons shall wash their hands and their feet, Ex 30: 18-19). Even Holy Communion (And you shall set the bread of the Presence on the table before me always. Ex 25: 30).

Acolyte service is the answer to one of my prayers.For some time I feel detached from Sunday services and repeatedly ask God, "Help me. Help me feel more part of church again."

Like always, the answer to my prayer is unexpected and greatly surprising. When one of our priests calls to ask that I serve as Acolyte, it is immediately clear that this is God's response to me. Without hesitation, I accept this invitation. Having not grown up Christian, I know nothing about being an Acolyte. Yet, God almost always wants us to take a chance, to stretch uncomfortably beyond our boundaries, and to trust Him with the details.

The Bible is brimming with stories of a similar theme. The one that comes to mind most readily is the story of Abraham, who uproots his life to follow God's call. This is one of my favorite biblical stories, but I am one of the few people I know who loves the Old Testament. Again, this could be my Jewish roots peeking out. To me, the stories of the Old Testament are alive with poetic appeal, the stuff of great epics and passion. The writing strikes a deep chord with me. The Old Testament is, of course, The Bible Jesus knew. In comparison, the New Testament is beautiful in an ethereal way. Grace and light filters through the stories on its pages.

Maybe it is the benefit of having converted from Judaism to Christianity that I see both Testaments as revealing important truths about God. A God who is continuous, not separated by the terms "Old" and "New" or "Jewish" and "Christian." But, instead, a God who embodies both testaments at once. A God able to comfortably dwell where the Old Testament Temple and the New Testament Altar are one.

Comments

[Kathy]

Your story is very interesting to me! I hope you'll write more about what you're finding in the Episcopal Church. My husband and I are in complete shock, almost, to find ourselves attending an Episcopal church after some 20 years of attending evangelical churches--and we love it. We love the liturgy and the ritual. It seems to meet a very deep need of our hearts to have help in connecting to God.

Anyways, I just wanted to say "hey". You might recognize me from GCM. :-)

[Jamie]

I love your blog and your style of writing. I have always been fascinated by Judaism and now have been researching Messianic Judaism. It is just soooo deep, yet meaningful. Anyways, I grew up in a church steeped in tradition and it is still beautiful to me. By the way, I found your blog through Motheringbygrace...

[Leigh]

Hi Kathy and Jamie - thank you so much for your kind words. I have fallen a bit behind in posting, but plan to post a lot more this summer :)
Leigh