Real Presence

I have been having a spiritual fantasy lately. One in which I enter a dim, quiet church. I kneel to light candles and offer prayers. I sit in a pew in silence. I pray. There is quiet ritual among the clergy, broken by the biblical recitations - first the Hebrew scriptures, then the New Testament, and then bowing to the cross for the Gospel readings. The fantasy is in response to a recent spiritual longing I feel in reaction to our traditional church service. I am no longer completely fulfilled by church and want to reach toward God in new and different ways. God is pushing me beyond what I have become most comfortable with. Right now, I can feel God most while reading the Bible, listening to Christian music, and during Communion. My style of prayer has changed from an incessant list of concerns to leaving more space to quietly listen for God. This does not mean I will leave church, I know I need its rituals and rhythm. But I also recognize my desire to expand.

One ritual that remains of supreme importance to me is Communion. Like always, the Lord's Supper is infused with mystery. Body, blood, life, death, and transformation. This ritual is one I love - being filled with the Holy Spirit in a moment when the sacred slices into the everyday. The meaning of the bread and wine is a matter of great debate in Christianity. There is a continuum of belief ranging from those protestants who believe that the bread and wine/grape juice are just symbolic of the Last Supper, to the Roman Catholic doctrine of Real Presence - that the bread and wine become Christ's bodily presence. The Episcopal Church believes in Christ's Real Presence in the Lord's Supper, but with a different interpretation than that held by Roman Catholics. The Episcopal church embraces a certain amount of mystery regarding Christ's presence in the elements of Holy Communion, recognizing "both an objective change of some kind in the Eucharistic elements to become the body and blood of Christ and the subjective faith of the believer who receives the sacrament" (www.episcopalchurch.org). This allows belief among individual Anglicans and Episcopalians to vary greatly.

When I begin Christian worship, I lean more toward the idea of Communion as largely symbolic. I have little patience for Roman Catholicism's seeming obsession with Christ's presence in Communion. Several months into my church going, my beliefs about Christ's Eucharistic presence change, coinciding very closely with the Episcopalian ideal of "both an objective change" in the physical elements of Communion along with my "subjective faith." This shift in understanding comes when I realize that my experiences of Holy Communion reveal the palatable presence of the Holy Spirit in the Communion ritual.

Even my toddler son recognizes a significant shift in the service for Communion when he hands me the stickers he has been using and says, "Time to put the stickers down, we need to take Communion." Time, indeed. The priest says, "The Lord be with you," and we reply in unison,"And also with you." The familiar words roll off my tongue. It is right, and a good and joyful thing, always and everywhere to give thanks to you, Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth. Along with everyone I sing: "Holy, Holy, Holy Lord, God of power and might, heaven and earth are full of your glory. Hosanna in the highest." The words make me reflect on Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey, I think of the crowds throwing palm fronds before him and greeting him in this way. I cross myself for the next line, "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest." This song is always the same. Sometimes the melody is slow, sometimes accompanied by a quicker pace.

The priest's words continue, the retelling of Christ's suffering, death, and resurrection. "On the night he was handed over to suffering and death, our Lord Jesus Christ took bread; and when he had given thanks to you, he broke it, and gave it to his disciples, and said, 'Take, eat: This is my Body, which is given for you. Do this for the remembrance of me.'" I think of Jesus, on the eve of his death, wanting us to remember his life - how his disciples could not yet fully comprehend; how so often we still fall short of comprehending ourselves. I never fail to cry at this part. "After supper he took the cup of wine; and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, and said, 'Drink this, all of you: This is my Blood of the new Covenant, which is shed for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins. Whenever you drink it, do this for the remembrance of me.'" More prayers are said, including the Our Father, and then the bread is broken and held up, "Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us; Therefore let us keep the feast. The Gifts of God for the People of God. Take them in remembrance that Christ died for you, and feed on him in your hearts by faith, with thanksgiving."

A piece of bread is placed in my hand as the priest says, "The Body of Christ, the bread of heaven." And I sip from the cup of wine while listening to the words, "The Blood of Christ, the cup of salvation." I cross myself, and goosebumps form on my skin. Christ dances on the boundary between worldly and otherworldly, reminding us he is really present - always and forever.

Comments

[Clayton]

Very nice reflection of your spiritual journey. I too am starting to accept a real presense of Christ in the Eucharist. The protestant faiths I am finding genuinely lack spirituality for the most part. I am not Catholic yet but I plan on taking classes soon. It is also great to see a Jewish woman accept the Lord. What got you turned on to christianity?

[Leigh]

Hi, Clayton! If you go back to some of the first entries (archive) of this blog, it explains how I came to convert. It was a long journey!

[Maggie]

Good words.